Waiting.....

I didn't sleep well last night. Alexis woke up around 1:30 and wasn't going to go back to her own bed. She got bit up by mosquitoes the other night and the bites were bothering her a lot and only Mommy would do. I must have kissed them a dozen times trying to make her feel better. Finally after holding a cold rag over them to soothe the itching she finally fell asleep. But she was very restless all night long and so was I. I was having contractions on and off through out the night. I finally got a few good hours of sleep between 6 and 10.

I'm very undecided what to do about working right now. My baby bump is even bigger this time around than it was when I was pregnant with Alexis, so it is very uncomfortable to drive the fork lift all night long. And with it being a little warmer this week than it was last week, I just haven't been able to make myself go. So, I'm staying home again today, going to do some laundry and house work and rest up for labor. My other concern with working up until the event is that I will go into labor after working all night and be completely exhausted and not be very good at handling labor.

I have found that I have totally blocked out all the pain associated with child birth from having Alexis, so I'm a little nervous about it this time around. With Alexis, labor came on very quickly and was over before I knew it. With this one, I've been slowly dilating over the weeks and am now having contractions irregularly. I was telling Mom about some of my feeling this morning and telling her that I don't even remember ever feeling a contraction in the front, all my pain was in my lower back. So, I'm just wondering if I'll be able to handle the pain if I don't have another back labor, because it will be so different from what I've already experienced. Mom assured me that I was having contractions in the front, but the pain was so intense in my back that I just didn't notice it. So what it is boiling down to is that I want to have the energy to be strong and make it through whatever kind of labor I'm going to have this time around without getting irrational, or being mean to Ross, Mom or Jaimee and not getting all loud and screaming like I know can happen. I'm looking to have a good birth experience and I'm just worried that if I'm exhausted from work, it might not happen that way for me. If I don't go back to work at all, I have enough leave time to be off until November 17th or a few days after that. Not as long of a leave as I had hoped for, but I'm hoping to get some lay off time after the first of the year and take another 2 or 3 months off then.