First Day Back

I survived my first night back to work. Of course we were scheduled the full 10 hour shift, so no easing back into it, just thrown right on in. We did get out about 30 minutes early, so I was home at 2:30am.

The girls seemed to do just fine with the babysitter. Isabel was asleep by 9:30, she didn't take any breast milk while I was gone, but she did eat her baby food well. Alexis was asleep by 10 and from the report I got she only had 2 crying meltdowns for me.

Alexis has been very clingy this morning and keeps asking me if she can go to work with me. I keep telling her no, that she needs to stay home and play with Isabel. She said, "Mommy, I need to go to work and make money because I don't have very much." It's about to break my heart, but I know she'll adjust.

Isabel seems to be doing okay. She's definitely more interested in nursing this morning than she has been before. I think she realizes she need to stock up for later in the day.

They were both happy to see me and that made me feel good. We're still trying to figure out what the best schedule is going to be. It would be nice if I could sleep until 10 every morning, but I don't think that's going to give Ross enough time to get his mowing done on some of his bigger jobs. I'll have to get up a bit earlier on a few days and maybe make up for it by sleeping later on other days.

Here are a few more pictures from vacation. There was a church with a really cool playground that was right now the street from the house we stayed in. We took the kids there a couple times and they had a blast! The big kids too!

Home Again

After 14½ hours in my Dad's suburban Saturday, we made it back to their house at 12:25am Sunday morning. We were too tired to unpack and then repack and drive home, so we spent the night at their house. The girls did remarkably well for being cooped up in a vehicle that long.

Ross has already started talking about booking a condo for a week for the 4 of us next year on the same beach! That's how much we loved it!

It feels good to be home, but I miss the beach. I'm glad to have my own bed back, but I miss the sound of the waves on the shore. I love my family, but I'm glad I don't have to share a house with them for anymore time than I did.

I'm dreading going to bed tonight, because when I get up in the morning, it will be my last day at home with the girls before I go back to work. Tuesday is going to be rough.

We had struggled to find babysitters and thought we had it all worked out with 2 different girls, but both ended up not working out. Thankfully, we found a girl that is available and looking forward to babysitting full time now, and after she goes back to school too. Unfortunately, in the morning will be the first time we've ever actually met her. We know her mother well, but haven't ever met her. Really praying she works out and the girls like her. I'm entrusting my whole world to her, so I'm kind of starting to freak out a little on the inside.

I feel calm on the exterior about everything, but inside, I'm screaming and crying. I'm going to miss my girls so much, every day. I'm really worried about them too. I'm worried about how hard it's going to be on them to adjust to me not being here every night with them. Will they feel like I've abandoned them when they realize I'm not here to tuck them in Tuesday night? Will they be confused as to why Mommy isn't the one making them supper and giving them a bath and reading bedtime stories?

Why? Why, when I want so badly to be at home with them, do I have to leave them? I know the answer to the question, but it's hard to handle at the same point. Obviously this is what God has in store for us for this portion of our lives. I know that He will make a way for my prayers to be answered in one form or another. I know that Ross and I have to pay for not being more financially aware in the early years of our marriage. I'm hoping that someday soon, we'll have enough debt paid off that it will be possible for me to stop working.

That's enough of my depressing drama in my head for now. Here are some pictures from our last night on the beach. It was a gorgeous sunset that night!

Beach Bums

Can't Sleep

It's Monday night, our 3rd night in Florida and I am having problems sleeping. I'm exhausted, but have a terrible time falling asleep. The bed is a bit firmer than I'm used to at home, but not that bad.

I do have a lot on my mind and that isn't helping....

Vacation is wonderful. The beach is so beautiful! The house we are staying in is great!

There are 10 adults and 7 kids here together. For the most part we are all playing nice, but you can sense underlying frustrations from time to time. There are 10 different opinions about one thing and sometimes it gets interesting! We are all trying our best to make it pleasant, but..............you can understand how it is. And we have a lot of small children, who are playing hard and get very tired and cranky as well. There are 3 different sets of parents and 3 different styles of child rearing and that makes things interesting to say the least.

When you get right down to it, I think we are all having a wonderful time, but a lot of us are very tired still from the trip down, adjusting to different beds, playing hard, and dealing with tired kids every day too.

It's been busy the first few days here, so tomorrow, I plan on doing nothing but going to the beach, swimming in our pool here at the house, taking naps with my kids and being a complete, lazy bum.

I'm really trying not to spoil my vacation with any negative thoughts, but I have this one lingering thought that keeps pushing it's way front and center.....

I have to go back to work a week from tomorrow....

We do have babysitting lined out, but it's going to be such an adjustment for all of us since I've been off for so long. Technically speaking, I haven't worked in 9 months, minus 3 weeks in December. I have been so blessed to be able to share this time at home with my girls. It's not always been easy and there have been days when I wished that I could have escaped to a job outside the home. However, I still have the desire to be a stay at home mom. Please continue to pray that I will get a day shift position and then we'll barely need anyone else to keep the kids for us. I know it's not feasible for me to stay home and not work, so the most ideal situation would be for Ross and I to work opposite shifts so one of us will always get to be home.

Well, that's enough of that work talk, I just needed to get it out of my system. I'm not dwelling on it, but I do have to be preparing myself for it. I'm not really looking forward to it, not necessarily because of how hard it will be for me, but I'm really concerned about it being difficult for the girls adjusting to me not being at home with them every night.

I really hope you all are enjoying my guest bloggers this week (I know, I know, I've posted every day too!) I certainly have enjoyed reading all their posts.

Here are a few more pictures for you!

Pool Fun

Here's What I've Been Doing

This Just In

I'm very pleased to announce that you will get to enjoy posts from some of my favorite bloggers next week while I'm on the beach.

As of tonight, you will get to hear from these talented and special girls:


Chrissy @ Traveling Light

Mrs. Haid @ The Fabulous Adventures of Mrs. Haid

Jenna @ Jenna's Jargon

I'm working on getting a few more bloggers if I can. Make sure you stop by their blogs and give them some comment love when you see their post here on my blog.

I'm off to make my detailed list of things I need for the beach. I'll be here until Friday, I'll try to do something tomorrow and I should have time to do 5QF on Friday. But, come Saturday, I'll be on the beach! Did I mention I'll be on the beach??? I did? I'm sorry, I'm just so darn excited!! Mom is bringing her lap top and the house we're at has free Wifi, so I'll try and do a post or two about our vacation and maybe some pictures too!

Plans Are Made

We had an incredibly busy weekend!

Saturday morning we got up bright and early and fixed biscuits and gravy for breakfast and Ross' parents joined us. They hung around long enough for me to give Ross a haircut. Then it was hurry up and get around and head over to Ross' grandparents house for lunch. Then it was hurry home and pack to go to my parents house.

We got to St. Louis around 5ish I guess. Mom was at a meeting in Columbia and Dad had just got home from work. He and Ross got to work on the deck and then my sister and the kids got there too. We ordered some pizza and all had supper. Mom got home and shortly after that Scott got off work from the firehouse and got there too.

Jaimee and I got to sneak away for about an hour and a half for a little retail therapy at Old Navy and Walmart. It feels like it's been forever since we went shopping together and it was so nice.

We all had a big sleepover at Mom and Dad's so we could have our vacation planning meeting on Sunday. We were actually all in bed and asleep before midnight! Jaimee and Scott took the back bedroom. Hannah and Jack got an air mattress in the office floor. Isabel was in the crib and Alexis on the pull out love seat in the playroom. And Ross and I had an air mattress in the living room floor!

Sunday, Scott had to go to work and Dad and Ross got started working on the deck right away. Tim, Sarah and the kids came around 11:30 as well as Sera Kate. We got started with our planning session and lined out all the details of meals and sleeping arrangements and so forth and so on for vacation. We had lunch after and then finally headed home around 5. We were pooped last night by the time we got home!

In 12 more days, this is where I'll be laying my head to sleep:

And this is where we'll be gathering to prepare some delicious meals together:

And this is where we'll be eating them:

And when we don't want to be at the beach, we can always swim here:

And when we are completely water logged, we can hang out here:

It's Calling To Me

Days like today, when the sun is shining so brightly, make me dream about this place:

This is where we are going to spend 7 glorious nights and days in June when we travel to Destin, Florida.

When we aren't laying on the white, sandy beaches I'm sure this is where we'll be:

And after our day has been filled with beach and pool fun, this is where we'll gather to prepare some delicious treats to eat:

And when it's time to lay our weary heads down to rest, this is one of our choices:

And when all the fun and games leave me wanting a nap, this is where you will find me!

Can't wait for June 5th!