- Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, But the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15
I have always been of the opinion that a good spanking given in love and not in anger can be very good for a child. But, I know a lot of people will disagree with that, so I'm wondering what you think? To spank, or not to spank? And if you don't spank what is your form of discipline?
We have been spanking Alexis for quite some time now, and I'm beginning to wonder if I need to try some other forms of punishment, because we are getting absolutely no where with her behavior. She is extremely stubborn and defiant and it doesn't matter what we are telling her, if she sets it in her mind to do it, she is going to do it. I get so tired of being the bad guy all the time and spanking her, but I know I can't allow her behavior to go unnoticed.
So, basically, I'm looking to you other Mommy bloggers for suggestions on how you discipline your children and if any of you have an extremely and I do mean extremely stubborn child. I will not take offense if you disagree with me about the spanking issue, I would honestly like to hear some other opinions and maybe some techniques you've used that have been affective for your children.
8 comments:
I would like to hear suggestions as well Jessica! Hunter is becoming very "rude" and "bossy". I'm not sure those are the best words to describe his behavior, but that's all I can come up with. I've seriously thought about smacking his mouth or washing it out with soap...anyone tried either of these things? Anything work well for "back talk" and bascially all things that deal with words rather than physical behavior?
Well... we tried spanking, and still do sometimes but they are not as effective as TIME OUT for her! I think it's backwards that she would rather sit in time out than get a spanking... but the spankings did NOTHING for us. Seriously - time out like 3 times and she was a completely different kid!
Now don't get me wrong sometimes if its super bad she gets a spankin and then time out - we have our days and it depends on what she does.
I too had to experiement with Libby... she really went through a spell on us.
I don't think that spanking is out of the question as long as it's done when needed.
You said you already found my blog entry where I had posted this article, but I thought I'd post it in a comment! :o)
http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2003/summer/6.50.html
I think the punishment has to fit the crime - so things that involve them getting hurt or hurting someone else get spankings. One thing I learned with Hannah (who we know is very "strong willed") is that as mom's we forget to reward the good behavior. I have done stickers when she is polite, skittles for yes mam and when she was at her worse we had a whole big complicated thing that is for older kids. So I would suggest rewarding the good. Unfortunately they learn this behavior somewhere so I have found that if I take a long hard look at my behaviors I will usually find where they have learned the "bad" habits. Sorry...
Have you read Parenting with Love and Logic? http://www.loveandlogic.com/ Its something I think will be most effective for me.
I also notice many parents threaten their kids in public and never act on it. That was never the case with our family! We had to do it - it meant business. But, looking back, I was always afraid of my Dad, and I don't want that for my kids. I was afraid of physical punishment, and it made me want to lie to get out of it. I don't think I was very stubborn like your daughter, though.
My husband and I did a devotional for parents by Dennis and Barbara Rainey and they said they reserved spanking for serious matters, and for willful disobedience. They said they rarely had to spank when used consistently and only for those reasons. They said they used other various forms of discipline for other disobedience.
They also commented how one of their children never needed to be spanked, and others did a bit more, a lot depended on the personality of the child.
My husband and I spank, but we try to reserve it for very serious things, and the rest of the time we use time-out or loss of priveleges.
Thanks everyone for your comments.
Anonymous, who are you? Would love to know who is giving me helpful advice!
And Mrs. Haid, will you be a follower please?! Not just a blog stalker!! ;) JK!
oh it's kassie craig... just too lazy to sign in.. hehehe. ;-)
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