Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I'm having a horrible day........It all started last night. Tuesday's are sometimes a long day for me. I usually try to schedule my doctor's appointments then because that is the easiest day for me to get up and going. Dr. Cunningham doesn't see patients on Monday's or I would do it then since I don't work. But, Tuesday seems to work out okay for the most part. It's just a very long day because we almost always work 10 hours on Tuesday. In the later stages of my pregnancy with Alexis I only worked 8 hour shifts, but this time I'm trying to go as long as possible without doing that. So, I've decided that I will take one day off every 2 weeks to get some extra rest and now I've started scheduling to leave a few hours early on some nights. Last night was one of those nights. I had asked to leave at Midnight and my boss wrote down 12:30, close enough. "Special" time as husband and wife is becoming more of a challenge as I'm sure all of you moms know. So, I had told Ross that I was getting off at 12:30 and maybe we could have that "special" time. He said that sounded great. He's a real trooper because I know my attractiveness level goes way down in the later stages of pregnancy. I feel like a whale most days. Anyway at start up my boss asked if I was still leaving at 12, he didn't say 12:30 so I said yes and left at 12:00. Ross was still in the shower when I got home so I sat down at the computer and checked email and Facebook while I waited. When he walked out of the bathroom and saw me his first words were, "What are you doing here?" Not, "Hi honey, how are you?" or "Hey Babe you got off a few minutes early tonight, good to see you." So I told him what had happened and that I left a half hour earlier than he thought I would. So he says, "What was wrong with just working 8 hours?" I said, "Nothing, but 7 1/2 works just fine too." His response again, "8 would have worked." That lit a fire in me and I very sarcastically asked if he would like me to go back to work and get that other half hour in and he said, "Sure." So, as he is walking into the kitchen and shaking his head I go to take my shower hoping that I can wash away my anger at him for something as silly as a half hour and we can still salvage that very cherished husband wife time. Like I said before, "special" time is getting harder at this point. I don't feel attractive or sexy in the least and really have no desire to do anything right now, even though I still want to. Ross doesn't seem to have any great desires right now either. But, I had really put an effort into last night and I was looking forward to it. So, when I get out of the shower, Ross is watching one of our TiVo'd shows that I had thought we were going to watch together but apparently he couldn't wait. So, I gave him a kiss and told him I was going into the bedroom. I asked how long he was going to be up and he said he was going to finish the show. So, I closed the bedroom door, because he had the volume up loud and I didn't want to hear anything because I was going to watch it later. About 15 minutes later Alexis started whimpering and then crying so I went to get her and she said she wanted to lay on the couch. When we walked into the living room Ross paused the show and waited for me to get her settled. I was sitting beside her rubbing her back and he started the show up again. I asked him to please stop since he was in the last ten minutes and I hadn't seen any of it yet. So, he told me to go ahead and go back to bed because he was going to finish it and he would take care of Alexis. Alexis wasn't happy about me walking away, so I took her and laid her down with me for a bit. Ross came to bed and she still wasn't asleep, so we all laid there, I was going to try to stay awake long enough for her to fall asleep and I would put her back in her bed, but I didn't make it. So she slept with us all night, I was still upset with Ross about the way he acted, and we didn't get any of that husband wife time I was looking forward to. And this morning I just cried about it a lot. So, I know this is a lot of detailed and personal information that I hope you don't mind me sharing, but I needed to vent somehow. And I also know that this is one very long paragraph, but I'm hoping that the more I blog the better my writing skills will get. I used to be pretty good at writing but I'm a little rusty. Thanks for letting me share.