Monday, November 16, 2009

Struggling...

The last 3 hours have been a struggle of wills between Alexis and I. She is challenging everything we tell her right now. It gets so frustrating and sometimes I lose my temper with her and I hate myself for it. My prayer tonight is that I can discipline her calmly and effectively, because I know that discipline in anger isn't going to do her any good at all. I knew parenting was not easy and that it would be a challenge, but I'm not sure I expected this.

I have always known that I wanted to have children and that I wanted to raise them to be obedient and respectful and I believe I have the tools and knowledge to do so. But I never thought I would have such a stubborn child, she is so defiant right now. I tell her something and she just looks at me and waits to see what I'll do next if she doesn't obey. Everyday is a struggle of some kind to get her to obey us. I'm praying that it won't be much longer before she learns that she must obey us or there will always be consequences. This is not the fun part of parenting and I feel like it is overshadowing the wonderful joys of being a parent right now. I am determined that while this struggle continues I am going to make sure that I'm giving her extra love and attention because for the most part, I feel like I'm constantly getting on to her.

I'm also struggling with another situation tonight, I don't want to go into details, but please pray for me that I'll find the peace I need and won't allow this particular situation to continue upsetting me like it does.

Thank you Mom for letting me vent on you like I do, and for always having words of wisdom for me. I don't know what I'd do without you. You always have a way a helping me to see things more clearly and encouraging me to take it to God and let Him have control.

Thank you Jaimee for being such a good big sister and letting me vent on you too. It's nice to know that I have someone to talk anytime about anything at all. I'm so looking forward to when you are finished with school and life settles into a better routine and we have some time to get together more often.



2 comments:

Nel said...

Just know it's not only your child acting this way... I really think it's a part of the age and getting another sibbling. Libby really did and still is sometimes going through the same thing. But I have faith in us as mommy to stick with it and raise our girls to be sweet fun kids!

And I will add you to my prayer list!

Jessica said...

Thanks Nel!