Thursday, April 15, 2010

New Discovery

Yesterday, Ross and I had a conversation that led me to think about a lot of different things. Without divulging too many details about our talk, I discovered that I've not been living up to his or my own expectations for that matter of being a housewife. I should be putting a lot more effort into meals and housework than I have.

I have no excuses to offer....but I'm going to offer one anyway! Who am I kidding, I can always come up with a good excuse right? Well, not an excuse as much as a shortcoming in myself that I'm trying to overcome.

I'm really guilty of blaming situations and circumstances in my life as to why I can't keep it together. My current excuse would be last weeks activities. Tuesday - drive to Bonne Terre for visitation and then home again. Wednesday - drive to French Village for funeral and then back home again. Thursday - drive to St. Louis with the girls and run around and then go to rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Friday - a day filled with wedding activities, wedding and then driving back home and getting here around Midnight. Long week no doubt, but I didn't do anything on Saturday or Sunday, so by Monday I should have had my act together and gotten back into the groove.

Here is where I fall short. I let myself have a pity party about how tired I am and what a long week it was, blah...blah........blah, sometimes I get so tired of listening to myself belly ache. I mean, come on Jessica, get over yourself already, it's not like your working outside the home these days, what's the deal? Seriously, what is my problem sometimes?

And then there is the whole money thing, or lack thereof I should say. We are flat broke, it's been super duper tight around here lately. We've had a lot of extra expenses that aren't the norm. I love being a part of a wedding, but it's a clincher on the old checkbook now let me tell ya!

Our cuisine the past few weeks has been seriously lacking in flavor and variety. We've been living on ramen noodles and PB & J's. Thank goodness Alexis loves both! I let myself get lazy and complacent about trying to prepare meals when we are limited with our grocery supply, so eventually I just stop cooking altogether because I get tired of trying to be creative with stuff I don't even have. I mean we were getting so bare in our cupboards that I didn't even have potatoes or carrots that I could have fixed with a roast or something. No fish or chicken in the freezer. We have pork and beef, but nothing to fix to go with them.

All this led up to our conversation yesterday about my housewifing ( I know that's not a word Firefox speller checker, but I'm making it one today!) skills and how I should be working harder to have meals on the table and so forth. So, I decided this morning to do something about it. I went grocery shopping and spent $175.00 on stuff we needed. Now, I have no excuse for not having a meal on the table. Having spent that much will probably make things tight for the next week or two, but at least I won't have to worry about us not having things to eat.

This morning, Ross got up early to go mow at Mill Springs and I got up and fed the girls breakfast, got us all dressed and we headed to the store and I had my well written list that I checked over multiple time to make sure I had everything on it and made sure that everything on the list made it into my basket. I have a meal plan for the next few days and I was going to have a hot lunch laid out on the table when my man got home. Until I got the call, "Hey hon, I'm gonna go have lunch in town with my dad, see ya in a bit." Okay, nothing like bursting my happy housewife bubble. I was a little hacked off to say the least. First off, did you think maybe your wife and kids would've liked to have had lunch in town too? And second off, you had just been {please excuse my language} bitching at me yesterday for not planning and having meals on the table for you?

I quickly got over myself though and carried on with my plan for the day. I haven't been spending nearly enough time just playing with my kids. I spent time feeding, clothing, bathing, putting to bed, disciplining, and on and on and on, but I've been kind of lax here lately in just sitting down and playing with the girls. So, that's what we did. I didn't have the TV on at all this morning or afternoon. The computer didn't get turned on until after Ross left for work and Isabel was down for her nap and Alexis was laying on the couch watching Sesame Street until she fell asleep for her nap. And we had a really good day!

So, from here on out that's my plan. Get up each morning and work on my chores, take care of getting breakfast and making meal plans for that day or the next, playing with my kids, enjoying the weather, talking with my husband if he's not out working. And then in the afternoon when all is quiet, I'll turn on my computer and get my Facebook and blogging time in until the girls wake up and then I'll go back to my mommy and wifey duties and I think I'll go to bed each night feeling satisfied with what I've accomplished.

My computer time has been a struggle lately and I think I've finally found a good balance that lets me get my craving for "Internet socializing" and yet still preform all my Mommy and Wife responsibilities. The girls are on a good schedule for now. Isabel usually has a 3 hour nap in the afternoon and Alexis either naps for about 2 hours or has some down time with Sesame Street and Tigger and Pooh and that will be my down time with my computer as well. So, having said all this rambling, mumbo jumbo, nap time is almost over and we're going to go see a brand new baby!


Mrs F said...

I so have these moments often... today in fact! We can do this - I have faith in us ;o)

Murdock's mama said...

This is a great post...I think most of us can relate!
Have a great weekend!