If you've been a reader for very long, you know that my darling, eldest daughter is extremely stubborn and strong willed. Sometimes it really gets me down when her behavior is bad.
Tonight is one of those times...
Right now, she is pushing every limit on everything and it is so frustrating. Today was one of those days that it didn't matter how many times she got into trouble, how many time outs she got, or even how many spankings she got, she just kept on and kept on. Wearing me down until my nerves feel like they are raw and exposed for the whole world to see. I feel like I could either just go outside and scream at the top of my lungs until my voice gives out, or just break down and cry until there are no tears left.
I want her to be obedient and I have the hardest time understanding why she won't be.
Am I not praying over her enough?
Am I not being consistent with disciplining her?
Why does it feel like I am making no headway at all?
She doesn't seem to understand the concept of "stop" and "no". For whatever reason, she feels the need to continue when I've said stop multiple times until I force-ably stop her from doing whatever it is, or until I get to the point that I tell her if she doesn't stop, she's going to get a spanking.
She tries to reason with me when I'm telling her that she can't do something. Or if I tell her to go and put something away that she shouldn't have or just whatever, she'll respond and say, "I will in a few minutes." or, "But, Mom, I NEED to be doing this, it's okay."
Tonight has been one of those times when I would have gladly shipped her off somewhere just so I could have a break, but at the same point, that would have defeated the purpose. That would have been like rewarding her for bad behavior. So, I stuck it out and I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better and I'll see an improvement in her behavior soon.
Tomorrow is a new day, lets hope Alexis wakes up with a new attitude! I hate having to constantly get onto her, but I know that if I don't get a handle on this now, it will only get worse over time.
Thanks for letting me vent...