Monday, January 4, 2010

I Realized...

...today that I've been a terrible wife/mother/housekeeper due largely to the amount of time I spend in front of this computer.

So, my resolve is to step back for awhile and focus on what is really important to me. My husband, my daughters and my home. Blogging and Facebooking aren't nearly as important as those things are, and I've allowed them to consume me.

I've really enjoyed blogging and getting to "meet" some new people that I have things in common with, and when I have the time, I will be reading your blogs still and I'll post when I have all my other obligations completed, so that won't be often I'm afraid.

I will continue to put pictures of my girls up as I get new ones to share, but I'm not really going to put a whole lot of time into trying to be a "blog writer". I'm not very good anyway, and I have so many other ways to fill my time more productively.

I haven't used my time at home very wisely since I've gotten leave. I need to be keeping my house in better order, spending more time in my kitchen cooking for my family, keeping up with the laundry instead of having a mountain in the laundry room. I've always told Ross how I've wanted to be a stay at home mom and I have the opportunity to prove how much value there is to me staying home and I certainly haven't done any of those things the last few weeks and I have no excuse other than I've just been lazy. There is no other way to put it, and I know how wrong it is of me.

Ross has been working his butt off to try and get the upstairs finished and I've done nothing other than maintain a dirty house. And it's not fair to him or my kids that I haven't stepped up to my responsibilities. I don't want to be super mom, but I know I can do so much better. I'm not really sure where I went wrong, but I know the computer consumes a lot of my time, so that is what I'm going to start with. I'm always nagging at Ross to turn the TV off, but I'm worse with my computer time than he is with the TV, so I need to be telling myself to turn it off and not worry about him.

My marriage isn't struggling so to speak, but it could be a lot better than it is. I haven't been a very good helpmate to my husband and I haven't focused on making sure we get our quality time together, and I don't mean date nights either, I just mean on a daily basis, making sure that we have a few minutes each day to just be husband and wife. Not, daddy and mommy, or breadwinner and homemaker, or carpenter and cook. Just husband and wife, and friends. Ross really is one of my best friends and I haven't been holding up my end of the friendship deal so well lately.

I've taken the time to write this post so that you will know why I don't have a lot to say in the near future, if it even matters to anyone. But, my dirty house isn't going to clean itself if I just sit in front of this computer. I will probably check my email daily, but I'm going to see how much self control I have to stay off Facebook when I know there are things to accomplish in my home and with my family. If you want or need me for anything, here is my email: jalea@misn.com

I'll post pictures next time I have some cute ones!

2 comments:

Nel said...

You will be missed... but I understand! Enjoy your time as a housewife!!!

Mrs. Haid said...

I understand.

But maybe cut yourself some slack... maybe you were doing these internet things as a way to relax a bit (even if it got lazy in the end). I understand that! Its nice to relax and not have to talk or run around sometimes.

Don't be too mad at yourself, okay? Give yourself some compliments for realizing your limitations and deciding to act in a postive way!