Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Out Of Control

This post goes back to some of the feeling I was having the week that I wrote this post. 

After I wrote that post, I was talking to Mom on the phone and was finally able to put it into words just what I was really feeling. Besides being discouraged.

I felt Out Of Control.

I've always considered myself to be a pretty together person, who could handle whatever came my way.

Apparently having children has changed that for me because I've never felt more Out Of Control in my whole life.

I look around my messy, dirty, cluttered house and I feel...out of control.

I see my daughter deliberately disobey me and I feel...out of control.

I look at the number on the bathroom scale and I feel...out of control.

I look at my husband and all the ways I'm not being a better wife and I feel...out of control.

I could go on and on about all the things I feel are out of control, but I think you get the drift.

I've been spending a lot of time in prayer the past few weeks. Something I'm ashamed to admit, I haven't done a lot of lately. And I'm sure that's why I feel the way I do.

So, here's to praying without ceasing and letting God have control of my life, because honestly, it was never in my control anyway. I just felt like I had a better handle on things than I do now.

Thank you to all my family and friends that I know are praying for me too, please don't stop!


Faithful Mali said...

I'd love to pray for you, Jessica. I often feel this way and get reminded that I'm trying to control things that were never in my control to begin with. When I look to God for the answers and am patient, life seems simpler and makes more sense.

Ashley said...

Amen Jessica. It's so nice to have other mothers who admit that sometimes life feels this way. You've got the perfect solution to the problem though, I know that when I actually commit myself to quiet time with The Lord and prayer my life seems to fall into place and I can handle (with grace) what I was not able to before. I'll be praying for you.

Jaymee said...

Ahhh!!! You sound like a normal women!!!! We all feel out of control: ) It is nice that you can admit it. Pray for strength and know you are not alone.

Jaimee M said...

Jess u r an amazing mom, I think the fact that you can recognize your faults and your daughter's faults makes you a great mom. She will outgrow it. Hang in there and celebrate all the awesome things about that sweet little girl. It will make the "issues" seem a little better.