Friday, January 15, 2010

Potty Training

Here is one of my struggles/challenges/failures that I was referring to. I've completely dropped the ball on the potty training issue.

I didn't acknowledge some of the signs that Alexis was giving because I didn't think she was really ready. I'm not sure exactly when it started, but for quite awhile she was waking up in the morning with a dry diaper and going for long periods during the day being dry too. But, she also was not coming to me and asking to be changed either. She could walk around in a wet diaper all day long and it wouldn't even really bother her. Poop is another story, she lets me know when she's pooping, but if I even attempt to take her to the bathroom to try it on the potty she throws a huge fit. She doesn't like getting her diaper changed when she's poopy either. I keep trying to convince her that it will be a lot better if she does it on the potty, but so far, nothing.

We got her the potty chair Christmas 2008 so she could get familiar with it and get used to it in the bathroom and I was planning to start serious potty training when she turned 2 in April 2009. We started with some big girl diapers and trying to use the potty a few times, nothing happened.

I will be the first to admit and take all the blame for the fact that she still isn't potty trained. I used my pregnancy as an excuse, I was always tired and I didn't think Alexis was ready. So, we went all summer with us trying to go, but never getting results. She still to this day has never once put her pee pee in the potty. We have movies and books about going potty and the cool poster on the back of the door to put stickers on when she goes. We even resorted to bribery with no luck.

Then we decided that I would try and get her trained while I was home on maternity leave. Once again, probably not a good time. Her little world has just been invaded by this little person who takes up a lot of Mommy's time and attention. About 3 weeks after I had Isabel, I decided it was time to get down to business. I thought Alexis was adjusting well to having a little sister and she seemed to understand that when I was feeding Isabel, she had to wait until I was done before I could help her with things. So, we got the big girl underwear and tried that approach. Of course, we had a couple accidents. I started trying to watch really closely for the signs that she was ready to pee.

One evening I was giving Isabel a bath in the kitchen. Alexis had been in underwear for several hours and I had taken her to the bathroom multiple times with no luck. So, I'm at the sink bathing Isabel and Alexis is standing in the doorway and she starts doing the potty know the start crossing your legs and squirming a lot. I knew she had to go, but I couldn't walk away from Isabel at that moment. I told her to run to the bathroom and get on her potty. She told me no, and I kept telling her several times to go in there and try to go and she refused. (One of the reasons for my post from yesterday, she fails to obey when I tell her to do something.) So you guessed it, huge pee puddle in the kitchen floor.

After that night we decided no more big girl underwear until you've at least gone potty once on the toilet or potty seat. That was back in October and now it's January and her 3rd birthday is just over the horizon and I'm feeling the pressure. It's coming at me from all sides. Ross is pressuring me, other family members "can't believe that I don't have that girl potty trained yet!"

Next brilliant idea, we are getting new carpet soon, so I'll take advantage of the situation and go ahead and let her have accidents since the carpet is getting ready to go bye bye. Yesterday we put the panties on and I made some lemonade and tea for her to drink because she'll suck those down until her cup is empty. We were all in the kitchen and Alexis walks out of the room and stands right in the doorway of our bedroom and pees. She didn't give any signals that she needed to go other than leaving the room

She was pretty upset about having an accident. I think I handled it well, I didn't get upset, I just rushed her to the bathroom and sat her down on her potty seat. I was rinsing her clothes and wiping her legs off and was planning to put a clean pair of underwear and pants on to try again. She wanted nothing to do with it, she brought me a diaper and asked me to put it on her. Not wanting to push the issue I let it go and figured we'd try again today.

This morning we tried again. I took her to the bathroom several times to try and go. She even went to town with Ross and we just put a diaper on over the underwear as a precaution. She hadn't drank much of anything yet today, so I knew she probably didn't need to go that bad, so I wasn't really taking her to the bathroom like I should have been. I did give her a sippy cup of tea so she would drink and hopefully we'd be able to potty before nap time.

I was sitting here at the computer putting a photo order in and she was standing right beside me. She walked over the the hallway mirror to look at herself (which she does all the time) and she peed. Once again, I didn't make a big deal out of it and told her it was okay, we'd just get her cleaned up and try again. Apparently Ross thought it was a big deal so (excuse the term, but it feels appropriate) all hell broke loose between me and him.

He informed me that I needed to devote 100% of my time to Alexis and turn off the computer until she figured it out. He told me that I wasn't taking her to the bathroom often enough because I was glued to the computer. (All the while he had just been sitting in front of the TV, not offering any help either.) Check out this post and this post and you'll understand more about my feeling on computer time vs. TV time. I'm the first to admit, I spend a lot of time at the computer, but during this season of my life I feel like the blogging I'm doing is helping me to work through my struggles and emotions and make me a better person. But, that's getting off subject. We exchanged some not nice words, including me telling him that tomorrow I would spend every second of the day staring at Alexis and I wouldn't feed Isabel or change her diaper or do any of those other things. After that very sarcastic comment was made was when we weren't very nice to each other and I went on about my day as did he, and we didn't really speak again until he was ready to leave for work.

She did let me put more underwear on her after that accident and I made sure she had a full sippy cup and I put down everything I was doing and devoted all my attention to her, so I would maybe pick up some signs she was ready to go. Nap time arrived and I wasn't going to risk her peeing in my bed, so we tried to go potty and then I told her we were going to put a diaper on for nap, and then underwear back on as soon as she woke up. I'm pretty sure it was only minutes after I put the diaper on her and laid down with her that she peed in it.

That's where we are now. What's next? I'm at loss...


Chrissy said...

Do not go back to diapers. Stick with it. If she doesn't want to wear underwear, let her go naked. I was so exhausted from trying with Sarah, but eventually (after a week of accidents) she got it. I thought she wasn't going to get it, I was even getting mad at the situation, but after reading some blogs and getting encouragement from friends (real life ones...ha!) I just kept working at it.

She'll get it! Hang in there! :o)

Nel said...

We too just stuck with panties... always kept those on. I asked her repeatedly and took her very often to the bathroom. We made a huge HUGE deal about going potty! I kept a stack of books in the bathroom and read them while she sat there... Hang in there, it WILL happen! But I agree with Chrissy - stick with the panties once you switch and just keep the laundry going :)

Nel said...

O, and the nice conversation and feelings towards Ross... Corey and I have had very similar conversations before ;)